How good knows how to travel from one hand to another, from one continent to another, from soul to soul
I am reading these days “The God Who Won’t Let Go” book by Peter van Breemen. I call it a “traveling” book. It was gifted to me by a very special person in my life who received it many years ago from a wonderful Jesuit priest, such a human being who probably loved and helped more people than I can count. I was also happy to meet such a remarkable and kind person in this lifetime.
“Put simply, what counts is love.”
Among many other great and inspiring references, the author mentions about Jean Vanier’s book “Jesus, the Gift of Love” and one of his basic convictions is that we are all disabled, be it in our heads, be it in our hearts, be it in our eyes, or in the psyche.
I deeply resonate with his assertion and Peter van Breemen quoted him as he articulated the foundation of this conviction:
“As children, we have all been hurt.
Our first experience of pain
was on that day when, as a little child,
we sensed that we were not wanted by our
when they were angry with us
because we did not fit into their plan
or do what they wanted us to do.
We cried out and disturbed them
when they did not want to be disturbed
or we did something that annoyed them.
We were so little, so vulnerable then,
so in need of love and understanding.
We could not understand
that this breakage came from the fatigue,
inner pain, and wounds of our parents
who could not bear to hear our cry,
and that it was not “our” fault.
We had to escape, then, into dreams,
projects, and ideas.
When little children are hurt,
they close themselves up,
hiding behind unexpressed anger, revolt, and
sulking in depression,
or they escape into a world of dreams.
This breakage is like a dagger
entering a fragile heart,
craving for communion.
It causes horrible loneliness, anguish, inner
feelings of guilt and shame.
Children feel they have hurt their parents
and have disappointed them.
No child can understand or bear this inner
Children cannot judge or condemn their
whom they need so much
just to survive.
So they withhold and hide their anger
and blame themselves.
They know then that they are no good,
misfits that nobody wants.
Human beings learn to cut themselves off
from all this inner pain,
and thus from reality,
and especially from the reality of people
who cause or reawaken inner pain.
We are all so broken in love, and in our
capacity to relate.
We have difficulty understanding others
and wanting their growth and peace of heart.
We can quickly judge or condemn them.
We push them away,
frightened of them.
We hurt each other.
We seek to control or to use others,
or to run away and hide.
Since we were little children we have hidden
deep down within us,
in a forgotten world
with solid barriers around it.
It is in this forgotten world
of early pain, rejection, and confusion
that the thirst for love and communion
and then relationships become dangerous.
So we tend to live not in reality
but in dreams, in ideologies, and illusions,
in theories and projects,
things that bring success and acclaim.
The barriers around our hearts are deep and
protecting us from pain.
We live in the past
or in the future
or in a dream.”
(A post by Maria Cristina Mihalcea, my sister)